06.01.25
Lithromantic Quiz: Unrequited Love Seeker?
Last Updated 22.01.26
○ DISCLAIMER
This quiz is for entertainment only and cannot determine your sexuality or gender identity. It is not a diagnostic tool and shouldn't guide major life decisions. For genuine support with identity questions, please consult qualified LGBTQ+-friendly professionals. Your self-discovery journey is uniquely yours.
Lithromanticism is a romantic orientation where a person experiences romantic attraction but doesn’t desire reciprocation – in fact, reciprocal feelings often cause discomfort or complete loss of interest. The term comes from Greek “lithos” (stone), reflecting an emotional barrier between feelings and their realization. This isn’t fear of intimacy or trauma – it’s an innate way of perceiving romance. Many lithromantics live for years feeling “wrong” about their patterns without knowing their experience has a name. This lithromantic quiz helps explore whether this orientation describes your romantic experiences.
Key signs include losing interest when feelings are reciprocated (like someone “turns off the lights”), finding comfort and satisfaction in one-sided feelings, gravitating toward unavailable people (celebrities, fictional characters, those in relationships), and experiencing discomfort from romantic gestures like confessions or date invitations. Unlike aromantics who don’t experience attraction, lithromantics feel intense romantic emotions – the difference lies in not wanting to realize them. Unlike demiromantics who need deep connection before feelings arise, lithromantics can fall in love instantly but lose interest as connection deepens, creating a unique paradox.
Questions Overview
1. When someone expresses romantic feelings towards you:
- I love it and always reciprocate!
- I feel happy initially, but then I lose interest
- I sometimes get overwhelmed but usually feel flattered
- I prefer it when they don’t, but it's alright
2. How do you perceive romantic fantasies or daydreams?
- They're exactly like my real-life aspirations
- I enjoy them, but wouldn’t want them to become real
- Sometimes they're fun, sometimes they're too much
- I rarely have them
3. How would you describe your feelings about being in a committed relationship?
- I desire and cherish it
- It sounds good in theory, but reality is another story
- I’m unsure. It depends on the person
- I'd rather be on my own
4. How do you handle crushes?
- I approach them and try to make it real
- I adore the feeling but avoid making it real
- I let things take their natural course
- I usually don't develop crushes
5. When you watch a romantic movie, you often think:
- "That's how love should be!"
- "I wish to feel that, but only in my imagination."
- "It's a bit cheesy, but okay."
- "I can't relate to these characters."
6. If your best friend started to fall for you, you would:
- Hope that we could become a couple
- Feel elated initially, but then hope it doesn’t become too real
- Be confused and need time to think
- Wish things could go back to how they were
7. The idea of romance is:
- Beautiful and desirable
- Better as a distant dream
- Complicated
- Not essential for me
8. When you’re involved in romantic situations:
- I am fully present and engaged
- I sometimes feel detached, as if I’m observing from the outside
- It varies from situation to situation
- I try to avoid them
9. Love letters and confessions:
- Make my heart flutter
- Are sweet in theory, but they make me retreat in real life
- Are nice, but I don’t always know how to respond
- Are not my cup of tea
10. Friends often describe your romantic life as:
- Typical
- A roller coaster of distant dreaming
- A bit unpredictable
- Non-existent or very private
11. What does romance mean to you?
- A real connection and life with someone
- A fleeting feeling that's nice from a distance
- Different things at different times
- Not much, honestly
12. When you think of your future romantic life:
- I see a partner by my side
- I enjoy the dream but not the reality
- I’m still figuring it out
- I see many other adventures sans romance
13. The thought of someone being romantically obsessed with you:
- Sounds like a dream!
- Is intriguing in fantasies, but daunting in reality
- Is both flattering and worrying
- Makes me uncomfortable
14. Your motto on love might be:
- "Love is all you need."
- "Dreams are sweeter than reality."
- "Love is a maze with no map."
- "To each their own."
15. When you hear love stories, you:
- Hope for a similar one for yourself
- Are glad they're just stories and not your life
- Enjoy them but take them with a pinch of salt
- Often zone out or change the topic
Elena Rodriguez
Elena Rodriguez earned her Ph.D. in Sociology from NYU, focusing on relationship structures and romantic attraction patterns across diverse populations. She directs the Center for Relationship Studies at Stanford University and has pioneered research on aromantic, demiromantic, and other romantic orientations. Dr. Rodriguez regularly contributes to relationship education programs and has developed curriculum materials used in universities nationwide to help students understand the spectrum of romantic experiences.
I like the feeling of romance but I normally feel off the moment I have a partner who actually loves me and the next moment I just wanna break up with them because my feelings are mixed up and I sometimes feel like I’m not really happy with dreaming about having a romantic relationship but i honestly don’t know sometimes I feel like I just want to cry because I sometimes hate when I break up with someone so PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO😔
honestly me too, i have a partner tht asked me out recently after flirting but now that we r together im getting less and less feelings for him. i think the best thing to do rn is talk to him about it. since he loves you i think he’ll understand. AND GOOD LLUCK!!
yah
Im sorry that sucks 🙁 U could try having a qpr (Queer platonic relationship) or u could just be single pringle for a little, (there’s no harm in that) i have been rejected for like all my crushes exept one. So im pretty used to being single. Enough about me though, try a qpr. 🙂
I FEEL THE SAME, It’s confusing me.
everytime someone confesses to me, i feel weird and a bit uncomfortable, there would be like a 5% chance that i would feel good about myself if they are complimenting me, ONLY when they confessed or when they are flirting, compared from me from 2 years ago i wanted love and i was happy when people flirted or confessed to me, i would still be happy even if i didnt like them, i was in 1 pretty much toxic relationship last year which was my last, i broke up with him in january this year and after that i basically changed, i didnt like love, and i had no intentions in loving someone, not even my own self or my family, i think it was because of the relationship, i have no clue if he still wants me (my ex) and that just worries me and makes me feel sick knowing that he probably still does (he tried contacting me not too long ago), i dont know if im just still hurt from the relationship and i still need tine to heal, or im just not ready for love, because basically the whole time in that relationship that i was in with him, he gave me weird vibes, i have no clue why i dated him, tbh, he forced me to, and i have no idea why my stupid mind that time said “hey, im bored and lonely, lets just say sure!” the whole time i felt unsafe, i wanted to break up with him but i would need a reason and the right time, when i kissed him i didnt like it and he would just get mad if i didnt, so you can call that toxic, he also had girls on his snap and he still had contacts with his exs, i knee he was a red flag but still went for him? i dont know i think it was because he was in my school and i wanted to date someone in my school because then i would be able to see him everyday, but yeah, it may take even years for me to heal (if thats the case), which makes me want to reject every guy that confesses to me or likes me, i try to give them the icks just so they will stop and that works, i get a little sad only because i was their friend and i saw them as a friend, not a crush or a lover, i used to like flirting (just for fun) now i have no desire to, i would just feel weird or call someone weird if they do that to me now, i like watching stuff, like shows or movies and i only like romantic stuff on animes or movies, and i only have crushes on fictional characters, i think its because that they arent real and since im not “healed” or “ready” for love yet, my body wants love (as most people would) just not the attention, so like me liking a fictional character and i could fantasise about it every night, knowing that he doesnt know im real since hes not real and that would make it easier, if that makes sense, if not, just ask me questions about it, but now that i think about it i think im scared of love? i get this nervous and stomache pain feeling when someone confesses or shows signs that they like me, flirting etc, and i remember i tried gaslighting myself into liking a guy but that didnt work, i tried pretending that i liked him and when he texted me i tried to act happy and stuff, but it didnt work, i took this test and it said im “slightly lithromantic” if anyone has reached to the end of my long talk, could you help?
Brooo, please help me. I’m a straight female and there’s been so many cases where I thought I liked them, but as soon as I knew I could have them, I stopped. For example, there was this guy who u liked that took me to a dance, and when we were there, I started distancing myself because ig I started to loose feelings. AT THE DANCE. And I still love the thought of him liking me, just not me liking him. It’s mean, I know. It said I’m highly Lithromantic, but the thing is, uI don’t know myself that well. More like what I feel and decision wise. I know i want love. Im jelous of my friends and i love watching romance things. The thing is, i fall in love with almost every guy i see. Or atleast, i think i fall in love with them. If you told me I was bi, I would think “well, the signs pointed to it”. But I would low-key think that if you also said I was straight or gay. I’m so confused and I don’t know what to do. Please help me understand better so I can find love.
I feel EXACTLY like this, I just said that I had high-standards and that’s why I ended up losing feelings for all the people who have liked me back. I’ve read some articles that say lithromantic can be “cured” or helped — I don’t really like the word “cured” for this situation because it’s not a disease of any sort — and most of them say that lithromantic feelings come from an issue or past that must be overcome. I personally become a lithromantic in relationships because I think I’m so unlikeable that the thought of someone loving me for me is beyond human comprehension. But, everyone has different reasons why they feel the way they do. Once admitting that reason, you could definitely accept that part of yourself and see if those feelings still say. ALSO, about your sexuality crisis, you should figure out what YOU feel and not what people are telling you. If someone tells you something about your feelings, take it with a grain of salt and move on with your day. When it comes to sexuality, your feelings are all what matter, no one elses.
errrr im in a lithromantic relationship rn and like it’s shitty but like now im questioning if im lithromantic too bc for like example ive lost feelings and then got them back idk, also like I kinda hate them and like bully them idk. i also like avoid them or feel kinda odd when they act romantic even tho they cant idk. this shit is too much for me but ya uh shit f*ck.
you should break up with them because you say you hate them, doesn’t sound very healthy so…
So like I have this crush right? I confessed to them, they confessed to me we’re still on the talking stage we’re not together yet. But we act like we’re together, saying things like I love you and things, my first feeling was being uncomfortable after confessing to them and knowing they like me back. After that the feeling went away but now it came back, I don’t think I actually love them that much but I’m not entirely sure as this is my first crush to be reciprocated. Idk what to do. My results were slightly lithromatic. What do I do and say?
this has also happened to me, but I had broken them off after I realized I lost feelings. I only gained back my feelings after him and I were completely done because I missed the idea of our relationship and not what the reality of our relationship would have been like. Since it’s been a month do you still have feelings for this guy or no?
YA’LL HELP!
I am questioning rn, and I don’t know what I am.
I am female
I like boys, girls, and non-binary people (but prefer boys)
I think some people are cute every now and then, but rarely get a crush on them.
I have one celeb crush (male)
I LOVE fictional characters WAY more.
When I like someone, I get uncomfortable sometimes if they like me back and want a relationship.
I don’t really want sex, but am not afraid of it.
I get crushes on people more when they have a partner.
PLEASE HELP IDK WHAT I AM
It seems like you’re a mix of asexual and pan with a preference for the opposite gender. idk abt the rest tho
dude I f*cking love the idea of me loving someone. AND I CANNOT 💔💔 too high expectations? probably . . . anyways I dunno how to fix myself so uh yeah I do hope that I’ll meet someone patient and understanding one day 😜
Slightly Lithromantic
While you mostly resonate with conventional romantic emotions, there are moments where you find the allure of distant romance intriguing. Perhaps it’s the excitement of the chase, the ambiguity of undefined feelings, or the safety of distance. It’s like occasionally reading a book and getting lost in its romantic tales, feeling all the emotions, but once you put it down, the pull of reality is stronger. Understanding these feelings can help you strike a balance between what you desire and what you live, allowing you to navigate the vast ocean of emotions with a clearer compass.
I get that. I want to love someone, but I don’t think I have ever actually loved someone before.
Ello!!! 0-0
Ello, so uh it says moderate Lithromantic? Uhm I don’t really feel love I’d rather stay in a platonic relationship.(Im aro-ace I think) The idea of romance seems nice to me but the idea of acting on a crush is gross ig? Ughhh, I’m so losttt
Im scared to talk to my crush i like switch and zone out so badly its so,awkward trust
this ruins all the chance i have at love, if i lose feelings as soon as i get into a relationship then there’s no way i can feel love, i rly want to tho.
I am terrified of this being something I actually have, and I’m low key spiraling. The thing is, I’ve never been in a relationship (I’m currently young adult, won’t specify age but you can imagine) and in school I wonder if I’ve never had crushes because of something like this or because they’re middle/high school people and not super attractive to me yet.?
I got a man pregnant
we support mpreg
WTH? lol
YEAHHHHH
Hi! uhm, someone wanna help me? soo I feel like every time I’m in a relationship, I always end up losing feelings or becoming uncomfortable with it. like there was this guy I liked for months, on and off, then we got together and I enjoyed it, then we hung out and mde out for the first time and idk after that day I felt kinda weird and uncomfortable with it and I distanced myself and I didn’t feel like I could keep doing it and I just broke up with him. I feel like I am lithromantic, but I sometimes do want a relationship and sometimes dont
i few the exact same, this guy was my best friend and i thought i was gonna with with him long term, i was exited at the start but it MAJORLY faded, like i just saw him as a friend and we kissed like once a month, to be fair it was 2 months we were together but still, when i broke it off he said he expected it cuz it wasn’t much of a relationship anyways
Oh my gosh I have the same problem. I’ve been with this dude for 3 months we’re not together yet, but he always says he loves me and stuff I always get uncomfortable when he does that it literally makes me sick and want to throw up.
Ughh makes since now, dated one guy and I just couldn’t do it ghosted him and eve time someone did try asking me out I’ll run away like a headless chicken even talking about love, kinda of makes me feel ick!
Uhh, because the quiz was not clear I need y’all opinions. Am I Demi litho romantic bc most of the time when somebody shower me with affection I like it for an day then I lose feelings but I try to force my feelings back bc yk, I want an relationship to last long. I dream of a non-platonic relationship but then when it happens I am like “ only say ily once a month. Please be mostly platonic.. “ I want be in a relationship with someone but only make it so there is no affection involved. Like- I want to date someone but I don’t want affection.
You could be Litho, but I bee reaching you also could be cupio you should look it up
“There’s a certain charm you find in the abstraction of romance. The idea of love, the daydreams, the fantasies – they all evoke a sense of warmth and pleasure.” No, just no 😔🙏
Did y’all run away from y’all’s crush Because I did
uhhh hiiii
WHAT HOW???…..
IDKKK. I came here bec I used to run away from my crush’s like always bec I’m scared how they would like me back. And become in a relationship
same