Lithromantic Quiz: Unrequited Love Seeker?

Last Updated 05.06.25

DISCLAIMER

This quiz is for entertainment only and cannot determine your sexuality or gender identity. It is not a diagnostic tool and shouldn't guide major life decisions. For genuine support with identity questions, please consult qualified LGBTQ+-friendly professionals. Your self-discovery journey is uniquely yours.

Imagine a person who experiences deep romantic feelings but loses them the moment their object of adoration reciprocates. Sounds like the plot of a psychological thriller? In reality, this is the experience of millions of people around the world. If you’ve ever felt your infatuation evaporate at the first signs of mutual feelings, our “Am I Lithromantic?” quiz will help you navigate the intricacies of your romantic identity.

Who Are Lithromantics?

Lithromanticism is a romantic orientation where a person experiences romantic attraction but doesn’t desire or need those feelings to be reciprocated. Moreover, reciprocal romantic feelings can cause discomfort, anxiety, or complete loss of interest.

The term comes from the Greek word “lithos” (stone) and reflects the metaphor of a stone wall between romantic feelings and the desire to realize them. Lithromantics seem to create an emotional barrier that protects their inner world from the intrusion of reciprocity.

Contrary to common misconception, lithromanticism is not a fear of intimacy or the result of psychological trauma. It’s an innate feature of perceiving romantic relationships, as natural as eye color or musical preferences. Lithromantics are capable of deep emotional experiences, rich inner lives, and can form strong platonic bonds.

Many people live for years with a sense of “wrongness” about their romantic patterns, but due to insufficient awareness of this orientation, they don’t know that their experience has a name and explanation.

What Is a Lithromantic Quiz?

A lithromantic quiz is a specially designed psychological tool that helps people explore their romantic orientation through a series of questions about personal experiences, feelings, and reactions in romantic situations. Unlike clinical tests, such a quiz doesn’t make a diagnosis but rather serves as a starting point for self-discovery.

Our quiz is based on contemporary research in the field of romantic orientations and includes questions that address key aspects of the lithromantic experience. It analyzes behavioral patterns, emotional reactions, and relationship preferences, providing participants with personalized feedback.

It’s important to understand that the quiz doesn’t replace deep self-reflection or consultation with a specialist, but can serve as a catalyst for better self-understanding. Many participants note that taking the quiz helped them find words to describe feelings they had experienced for years but couldn’t explain.

Key Signs and Characteristics of Lithromantic Orientation Covered in Our Quiz

Our quiz covers five main signs that help identify lithromantic orientation. Each of them reflects a unique aspect of the lithromantic experience – from emotional reactions to behavioral patterns. Understanding these characteristics will help you not only take the quiz more consciously but also gain deeper insight into your own romantic experiences.

Loss of Interest Upon Reciprocity

The most striking sign of lithromanticism is a sharp decrease or complete disappearance of romantic feelings when the object of attachment begins to reciprocate. This isn’t playing “hard to get” or manipulation – lithromantics physically feel their feelings fade. One participant in our research described it this way: “It’s like someone turns off the lights in a room where there was just a celebration.”

Comfort in One-Sided Feelings

Lithromantics often find satisfaction and even happiness in experiencing unrequited feelings. They can spend hours dreaming about a person, writing poetry, creating playlists, but actively avoid situations that could lead to relationship development. This isn’t masochism, but a special way of experiencing romantic emotions.

Idealization of Unavailable People

Many lithromantics notice they’re attracted to people who are inherently unavailable: celebrities, fictional characters, people in relationships, or those living far away. This “safe distance” allows them to fully experience romantic feelings without the risk of reciprocity.

Discomfort from Romantic Gestures

Receiving romantic attention – flowers, confessions, date invitations – can cause anxiety, panic, or an immediate desire to end communication in lithromantics. This isn’t related to low self-esteem; the very idea of romantic relationships feels like a violation of personal boundaries.

Cyclical Nature of Crushes

Lithromantics often experience repeating cycles: infatuation → attempt at closeness → receiving reciprocal feelings → loss of interest → search for a new object. These cycles can be emotionally exhausting, especially if the person doesn’t understand the nature of their orientation.

Lithromanticism Compared to Other Romantic Orientations

Understanding lithromanticism becomes clearer when compared to other orientations on the romantic spectrum. Unlike aromantics, who don’t experience romantic attraction at all, lithromantics are capable of intense romantic feelings. The difference lies in the desire to realize these feelings.

Demiromantics need a deep emotional connection before romantic feelings arise, while lithromantics can fall in love at first sight but lose interest as the connection deepens. This creates an interesting paradox: lithromantics crave what destroys their feelings.

Greyromantics rarely or weakly experience romantic attraction, but when it does arise, they usually desire reciprocity. Lithromantics, however, can experience frequent and intense crushes, but reciprocity for them is the end of romantic experience, not its goal.

It’s important to note that lithromanticism differs from philophobia (fear of falling in love) or pistanthrophobia (fear of trusting in relationships). These phobias are based on traumatic experience and respond to therapy, while lithromanticism is a stable orientation that doesn’t require “treatment.”

How Does Lithromanticism Affect Relationships and Self-Perception?

Life as a lithromantic in a world where romantic relationships are considered the pinnacle of human experience can be challenging. Many face misunderstanding from friends and family who interpret their behavior as fear of intimacy, immaturity, or selfishness. This can lead to feelings of isolation and attempts to “fix” themselves through unwanted relationships.

However, recognizing one’s lithromantic nature often brings enormous relief. People stop forcing themselves to conform to social expectations and begin building lives that truly bring them satisfaction. Some lithromantics find happiness in platonic partnerships, others enjoy independence, and still others explore alternative forms of intimacy.

In the professional sphere, lithromantics often achieve outstanding success, directing energy that others spend on romantic relationships toward career, creativity, or social projects. Many famous artists, writers, and scientists demonstrated patterns characteristic of lithromanticism, though, of course, posthumous diagnosis is always speculative.

Self-acceptance is a key factor in lithromantic well-being. Understanding that their way of experiencing romantic feelings is valid and doesn’t need fixing allows them to build an authentic life. Our quiz is the first step toward this understanding, a tool that will help begin an important conversation with yourself about the nature of your own feelings and desires.

Demiromantic/Lithromantic Quiz
*Percentages show the number people in the row and column, as a percentage of all the people in the same column.  For instance, the first row and column shows that 58.97% of people who are ace-spec and aro-spec are aromantic. Percentages do not add to 100% because respondents could select multiple romantic orientations.
Source: The Ace Community Survey

Elena Rodriguez
Elena Rodriguez
Elena Rodriguez earned her Ph.D. in Sociology from NYU, focusing on relationship structures and romantic attraction patterns across diverse populations. She directs the Center for Relationship Studies at Stanford University and has pioneered research on aromantic, demiromantic, and other romantic orientations. Dr. Rodriguez regularly contributes to relationship education programs and has developed curriculum materials used in universities nationwide to help students understand the spectrum of romantic experiences.

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Sally
Sally
21 days ago

I like the feeling of romance but I normally feel off the moment I have a partner who actually loves me and the next moment I just wanna break up with them because my feelings are mixed up and I sometimes feel like I’m not really happy with dreaming about having a romantic relationship but i honestly don’t know sometimes I feel like I just want to cry because I sometimes hate when I break up with someone so PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO😔

rii
rii
15 days ago
Reply to  Sally

honestly me too, i have a partner tht asked me out recently after flirting but now that we r together im getting less and less feelings for him. i think the best thing to do rn is talk to him about it. since he loves you i think he’ll understand. AND GOOD LLUCK!!

alex
alex
12 days ago
Reply to  rii

yah

Alex
Alex
12 days ago
Reply to  Sally

Im sorry that sucks 🙁 U could try having a qpr (Queer platonic relationship) or u could just be single pringle for a little, (there’s no harm in that) i have been rejected for like all my crushes exept one. So im pretty used to being single. Enough about me though, try a qpr. 🙂

Shiro
Shiro
7 days ago
Reply to  Sally

I FEEL THE SAME, It’s confusing me.

tezz
tezz
22 days ago

everytime someone confesses to me, i feel weird and a bit uncomfortable, there would be like a 5% chance that i would feel good about myself if they are complimenting me, ONLY when they confessed or when they are flirting, compared from me from 2 years ago i wanted love and i was happy when people flirted or confessed to me, i would still be happy even if i didnt like them, i was in 1 pretty much toxic relationship last year which was my last, i broke up with him in january this year and after that i basically changed, i didnt like love, and i had no intentions in loving someone, not even my own self or my family, i think it was because of the relationship, i have no clue if he still wants me (my ex) and that just worries me and makes me feel sick knowing that he probably still does (he tried contacting me not too long ago), i dont know if im just still hurt from the relationship and i still need tine to heal, or im just not ready for love, because basically the whole time in that relationship that i was in with him, he gave me weird vibes, i have no clue why i dated him, tbh, he forced me to, and i have no idea why my stupid mind that time said “hey, im bored and lonely, lets just say sure!” the whole time i felt unsafe, i wanted to break up with him but i would need a reason and the right time, when i kissed him i didnt like it and he would just get mad if i didnt, so you can call that toxic, he also had girls on his snap and he still had contacts with his exs, i knee he was a red flag but still went for him? i dont know i think it was because he was in my school and i wanted to date someone in my school because then i would be able to see him everyday, but yeah, it may take even years for me to heal (if thats the case), which makes me want to reject every guy that confesses to me or likes me, i try to give them the icks just so they will stop and that works, i get a little sad only because i was their friend and i saw them as a friend, not a crush or a lover, i used to like flirting (just for fun) now i have no desire to, i would just feel weird or call someone weird if they do that to me now, i like watching stuff, like shows or movies and i only like romantic stuff on animes or movies, and i only have crushes on fictional characters, i think its because that they arent real and since im not “healed” or “ready” for love yet, my body wants love (as most people would) just not the attention, so like me liking a fictional character and i could fantasise about it every night, knowing that he doesnt know im real since hes not real and that would make it easier, if that makes sense, if not, just ask me questions about it, but now that i think about it i think im scared of love? i get this nervous and stomache pain feeling when someone confesses or shows signs that they like me, flirting etc, and i remember i tried gaslighting myself into liking a guy but that didnt work, i tried pretending that i liked him and when he texted me i tried to act happy and stuff, but it didnt work, i took this test and it said im “slightly lithromantic” if anyone has reached to the end of my long talk, could you help?

Claire
Claire
1 month ago

Brooo, please help me. I’m a straight female and there’s been so many cases where I thought I liked them, but as soon as I knew I could have them, I stopped. For example, there was this guy who u liked that took me to a dance, and when we were there, I started distancing myself because ig I started to loose feelings. AT THE DANCE. And I still love the thought of him liking me, just not me liking him. It’s mean, I know. It said I’m highly Lithromantic, but the thing is, uI don’t know myself that well. More like what I feel and decision wise. I know i want love. Im jelous of my friends and i love watching romance things. The thing is, i fall in love with almost every guy i see. Or atleast, i think i fall in love with them. If you told me I was bi, I would think “well, the signs pointed to it”. But I would low-key think that if you also said I was straight or gay. I’m so confused and I don’t know what to do. Please help me understand better so I can find love.

camyyul
camyyul
24 days ago
Reply to  Claire

I feel EXACTLY like this, I just said that I had high-standards and that’s why I ended up losing feelings for all the people who have liked me back. I’ve read some articles that say lithromantic can be “cured” or helped — I don’t really like the word “cured” for this situation because it’s not a disease of any sort — and most of them say that lithromantic feelings come from an issue or past that must be overcome. I personally become a lithromantic in relationships because I think I’m so unlikeable that the thought of someone loving me for me is beyond human comprehension. But, everyone has different reasons why they feel the way they do. Once admitting that reason, you could definitely accept that part of yourself and see if those feelings still say. ALSO, about your sexuality crisis, you should figure out what YOU feel and not what people are telling you. If someone tells you something about your feelings, take it with a grain of salt and move on with your day. When it comes to sexuality, your feelings are all what matter, no one elses.

joshua
joshua
1 month ago

errrr im in a lithromantic relationship rn and like it’s shitty but like now im questioning if im lithromantic too bc for like example ive lost feelings and then got them back idk, also like I kinda hate them and like bully them idk. i also like avoid them or feel kinda odd when they act romantic even tho they cant idk. this shit is too much for me but ya uh shit f*ck.

camyyul
camyyul
24 days ago
Reply to  joshua

you should break up with them because you say you hate them, doesn’t sound very healthy so…

Yin
Yin
2 months ago

So like I have this crush right? I confessed to them, they confessed to me we’re still on the talking stage we’re not together yet. But we act like we’re together, saying things like I love you and things, my first feeling was being uncomfortable after confessing to them and knowing they like me back. After that the feeling went away but now it came back, I don’t think I actually love them that much but I’m not entirely sure as this is my first crush to be reciprocated. Idk what to do. My results were slightly lithromatic. What do I do and say?

camyyul
camyyul
24 days ago
Reply to  Yin

this has also happened to me, but I had broken them off after I realized I lost feelings. I only gained back my feelings after him and I were completely done because I missed the idea of our relationship and not what the reality of our relationship would have been like. Since it’s been a month do you still have feelings for this guy or no?

Arozi
Arozi
2 months ago

YA’LL HELP!

I am questioning rn, and I don’t know what I am.

I am female
I like boys, girls, and non-binary people (but prefer boys)
I think some people are cute every now and then, but rarely get a crush on them.
I have one celeb crush (male)
I LOVE fictional characters WAY more.
When I like someone, I get uncomfortable sometimes if they like me back and want a relationship.
I don’t really want sex, but am not afraid of it.
I get crushes on people more when they have a partner.

PLEASE HELP IDK WHAT I AM

NumberOneTennaGlazer
NumberOneTennaGlazer
1 month ago
Reply to  Arozi

It seems like you’re a mix of asexual and pan with a preference for the opposite gender. idk abt the rest tho

slightly lithromantic
slightly lithromantic
2 months ago

dude I f*cking love the idea of me loving someone. AND I CANNOT 💔💔 too high expectations? probably . . . anyways I dunno how to fix myself so uh yeah I do hope that I’ll meet someone patient and understanding one day 😜

slightly lithromantic
slightly lithromantic
2 months ago

Slightly Lithromantic
While you mostly resonate with conventional romantic emotions, there are moments where you find the allure of distant romance intriguing. Perhaps it’s the excitement of the chase, the ambiguity of undefined feelings, or the safety of distance. It’s like occasionally reading a book and getting lost in its romantic tales, feeling all the emotions, but once you put it down, the pull of reality is stronger. Understanding these feelings can help you strike a balance between what you desire and what you live, allowing you to navigate the vast ocean of emotions with a clearer compass.

Charlie
Charlie
1 month ago

I get that. I want to love someone, but I don’t think I have ever actually loved someone before.

Overused_user..
Overused_user..
2 months ago

Ello!!! 0-0

Kai<3
Kai<3
3 months ago

Ello, so uh it says moderate Lithromantic? Uhm I don’t really feel love I’d rather stay in a platonic relationship.(Im aro-ace I think) The idea of romance seems nice to me but the idea of acting on a crush is gross ig? Ughhh, I’m so losttt

alexie
alexie
3 months ago

Im scared to talk to my crush i like switch and zone out so badly its so,awkward trust

oy with the poodles already
oy with the poodles already
3 months ago

this ruins all the chance i have at love, if i lose feelings as soon as i get into a relationship then there’s no way i can feel love, i rly want to tho.

Terror cobolt
Terror cobolt
4 months ago

I am terrified of this being something I actually have, and I’m low key spiraling. The thing is, I’ve never been in a relationship (I’m currently young adult, won’t specify age but you can imagine) and in school I wonder if I’ve never had crushes because of something like this or because they’re middle/high school people and not super attractive to me yet.?

Ohnwjwj
Ohnwjwj
5 months ago

I got a man pregnant

Mc swagger
Mc swagger
3 months ago
Reply to  Ohnwjwj

we support mpreg

Overused_user...
Overused_user...
2 months ago
Reply to  Ohnwjwj

WTH? lol

slightly lithromantic
slightly lithromantic
2 months ago
Reply to  Ohnwjwj

YEAHHHHH

sillyguy!
sillyguy!
5 months ago

Hi! uhm, someone wanna help me? soo I feel like every time I’m in a relationship, I always end up losing feelings or becoming uncomfortable with it. like there was this guy I liked for months, on and off, then we got together and I enjoyed it, then we hung out and mde out for the first time and idk after that day I felt kinda weird and uncomfortable with it and I distanced myself and I didn’t feel like I could keep doing it and I just broke up with him. I feel like I am lithromantic, but I sometimes do want a relationship and sometimes dont

oy with the poodles already
oy with the poodles already
3 months ago
Reply to  sillyguy!

i few the exact same, this guy was my best friend and i thought i was gonna with with him long term, i was exited at the start but it MAJORLY faded, like i just saw him as a friend and we kissed like once a month, to be fair it was 2 months we were together but still, when i broke it off he said he expected it cuz it wasn’t much of a relationship anyways

Yin
Yin
2 months ago
Reply to  sillyguy!

Oh my gosh I have the same problem. I’ve been with this dude for 3 months we’re not together yet, but he always says he loves me and stuff I always get uncomfortable when he does that it literally makes me sick and want to throw up.

LMU
LMU
5 months ago

Ughh makes since now, dated one guy and I just couldn’t do it ghosted him and eve time someone did try asking me out I’ll run away like a headless chicken even talking about love, kinda of makes me feel ick!

Ur local silly goober
Ur local silly goober
6 months ago

Uhh, because the quiz was not clear I need y’all opinions. Am I Demi litho romantic bc most of the time when somebody shower me with affection I like it for an day then I lose feelings but I try to force my feelings back bc yk, I want an relationship to last long. I dream of a non-platonic relationship but then when it happens I am like “ only say ily once a month. Please be mostly platonic.. “ I want be in a relationship with someone but only make it so there is no affection involved. Like- I want to date someone but I don’t want affection.

LMU
LMU
5 months ago

You could be Litho, but I bee reaching you also could be cupio you should look it up

USSR
USSR
6 months ago

“There’s a certain charm you find in the abstraction of romance. The idea of love, the daydreams, the fantasies – they all evoke a sense of warmth and pleasure.” No, just no 😔🙏

Dealing
Dealing
8 months ago

Did y’all run away from y’all’s crush Because I did

personallity
personallity
9 months ago

uhhh hiiii

Human
Human
11 months ago

WHAT HOW???…..

I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl
10 months ago
Reply to  Human

IDKKK. I came here bec I used to run away from my crush’s like always bec I’m scared how they would like me back. And become in a relationship

slightly lithromantic
slightly lithromantic
2 months ago

same

Questions Overview

1. When someone expresses romantic feelings towards you:
  1. I love it and always reciprocate!
  2. I feel happy initially, but then I lose interest
  3. I sometimes get overwhelmed but usually feel flattered
  4. I prefer it when they don’t, but it's alright
2. How do you perceive romantic fantasies or daydreams?
  1. They're exactly like my real-life aspirations
  2. I enjoy them, but wouldn’t want them to become real
  3. Sometimes they're fun, sometimes they're too much
  4. I rarely have them
3. How would you describe your feelings about being in a committed relationship?
  1. I desire and cherish it
  2. It sounds good in theory, but reality is another story
  3. I’m unsure. It depends on the person
  4. I'd rather be on my own
4. How do you handle crushes?
  1. I approach them and try to make it real
  2. I adore the feeling but avoid making it real
  3. I let things take their natural course
  4. I usually don't develop crushes
5. When you watch a romantic movie, you often think:
  1. "That's how love should be!"
  2. "I wish to feel that, but only in my imagination."
  3. "It's a bit cheesy, but okay."
  4. "I can't relate to these characters."
6. If your best friend started to fall for you, you would:
  1. Hope that we could become a couple
  2. Feel elated initially, but then hope it doesn’t become too real
  3. Be confused and need time to think
  4. Wish things could go back to how they were
7. The idea of romance is:
  1. Beautiful and desirable
  2. Better as a distant dream
  3. Complicated
  4. Not essential for me
8. When you’re involved in romantic situations:
  1. I am fully present and engaged
  2. I sometimes feel detached, as if I’m observing from the outside
  3. It varies from situation to situation
  4. I try to avoid them
9. Love letters and confessions:
  1. Make my heart flutter
  2. Are sweet in theory, but they make me retreat in real life
  3. Are nice, but I don’t always know how to respond
  4. Are not my cup of tea
10. Friends often describe your romantic life as:
  1. Typical
  2. A roller coaster of distant dreaming
  3. A bit unpredictable
  4. Non-existent or very private
11. What does romance mean to you?
  1. A real connection and life with someone
  2. A fleeting feeling that's nice from a distance
  3. Different things at different times
  4. Not much, honestly
12. When you think of your future romantic life:
  1. I see a partner by my side
  2. I enjoy the dream but not the reality
  3. I’m still figuring it out
  4. I see many other adventures sans romance
13. The thought of someone being romantically obsessed with you:
  1. Sounds like a dream!
  2. Is intriguing in fantasies, but daunting in reality
  3. Is both flattering and worrying
  4. Makes me uncomfortable
14. Your motto on love might be:
  1. "Love is all you need."
  2. "Dreams are sweeter than reality."
  3. "Love is a maze with no map."
  4. "To each their own."
15. When you hear love stories, you:
  1. Hope for a similar one for yourself
  2. Are glad they're just stories and not your life
  3. Enjoy them but take them with a pinch of salt
  4. Often zone out or change the topic