Quiz: Am I Demisexual Or Not?

Last Updated 22.01.26

○ DISCLAIMER

This quiz is for entertainment only and cannot determine your sexuality or gender identity. It is not a diagnostic tool and shouldn't guide major life decisions. For genuine support with identity questions, please consult qualified LGBTQ+-friendly professionals. Your self-discovery journey is uniquely yours.

Sexual attraction works differently for everyone, and if you’ve ever wondered why you don’t feel that instant spark others describe, this demisexual quiz might offer some clarity. Demisexuality describes a sexual orientation where attraction only develops after forming a deep emotional bond with someone. Unlike the immediate physical attraction many people experience, demisexuals need time, trust, and genuine connection before desire emerges – think of it as a campfire that requires careful preparation rather than igniting from a single match.

Our quiz explores common patterns associated with demisexuality: whether you’ve experienced “love at first sight,” how hookup culture feels to you, and if your attractions have primarily developed with close friends. Many demisexuals describe looking at attractive strangers the way they’d admire a beautiful painting – aesthetically pleasing, but not personally compelling. They often find themselves mystified by casual dating culture and can count on one hand the people they’ve genuinely felt sexual attraction toward throughout their lives.

Taking this quiz can help you reflect on your own experiences and patterns. Whether you identify with demisexuality, discover you’re allosexual, or find yourself somewhere on the gray-asexual spectrum, understanding how your attraction works is a valuable step in your self-discovery journey.

Questions Overview

1. How do you feel about casual hookups?

They're my go-to for fun on a Saturday night!
I'm open to them, but they're not a priority.
I don't really see the appeal.
I actively avoid them.

2. Have you ever had a crush on someone you barely knew?

Yes, all the time.
Sometimes, but it's rare.
No, I need to know someone well before I develop feelings.
I never have crushes on strangers.

3. How important is emotional intimacy in a relationship to you?

Not important at all.
It's nice, but not necessary.
It's very important to me.
It's the most important aspect of a relationship for me.

4. How do you feel about dating apps?

Love them!
I've had some success with them, but they're not ideal.
I find them frustrating and overwhelming.
I have no interest in dating apps at all.

5. When you see an attractive person, what is your first thought?

I want to sleep with them.
They're attractive, but I don't feel any strong attraction.
I wonder what they're like as a person.
I can't feel any attraction until I get to know them better.

6. Do you often find yourself wanting to be friends with someone before being romantically interested in them?

No, I am usually attracted to someone right away.
Sometimes, but it's not a strong preference.
Yes, I generally need to feel a connection before I can consider romantic feelings.
I never have romantic feelings for someone until I've formed a strong friendship first.

7. How do you feel about public displays of affection?

I love them!
They're okay in moderation.
I feel uncomfortable with them.
I never engage in public displays of affection.

8. How important is physical attraction to you when considering a partner?

Extremely important.
Somewhat important, but not a dealbreaker.
Not very important.
Physical attraction is not a factor in my attraction to someone.

9. How important is personality to you when considering a partner?

Not very important.
Somewhat important, but not a dealbreaker.
Very important.
Personality is the most important factor in my attraction to someone.

10. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt sexual attraction towards someone but couldn't act on it because of the lack of emotional connection?

No, that's never been an issue for me.
I have experienced this occasionally.
It's happened to me a few times.
This is a common experience for me.

11. When you're attracted to someone, what is your preferred way of expressing it?

Physical touch.
Compliments and flirtation.
Sharing interests and hobbies.
Building emotional intimacy through conversation.

12. How long does it typically take for you to develop romantic feelings for someone?

Instantly.
A few weeks.
Several months.
I can't develop romantic feelings until I've known someone for a long time.

13. How important is it for you to have shared interests with a potential partner?

Not important at all.
It's nice, but not necessary.
It's somewhat important.
It's very important to me.

14. When getting to know someone, what is your preferred way of spending time together?

Going on exciting adventures.
Trying new foods or drinks.
Watching movies or TV shows.
Having deep conversations.

15. Have you ever had a strong emotional connection with someone without any physical attraction?

No, that's never happened to me.
It's happened once or twice.
It's happened a few times.
This is a common experience for me.

James Wilson

James Wilson holds a Ph.D. in Psychology from Columbia University, where he specializes in human sexuality research. With 12 years of clinical experience counseling individuals exploring their sexual orientation, he has authored two books on sexual identity development. Dr. Wilson serves on the board of the American Psychological Association's Division 44 and frequently conducts workshops for healthcare providers on culturally competent care for LGBTQ+ individuals.